My un-Predictable Husband

It's 2:00am and I wake up to my husband jumping out of bed and frantically turning the light on.
"It's not time to get up yet, Babe," I say groggily.
"Oh. Okay," he replies, turns off the light, and calmly snuggles back into bed.

Fast forward a few months and I wake up in the middle of the night to find that the top sheet has completely vanished. Since I am typically the "cover stealer" of this duo, I look on the floor next to my side of the bed. The sheet is nowhere to be found.
"Nathan, do you know where the sheet went," I ask?
"Nope."
"Well, it has to be somewhere around here," I insist.
My husband then leans over his side of the bed, picks up the sheet which is wadded up into a little ball, and tosses it over to me.
"Here," he says in an annoyed voice.

And then there was the night this week I wake up to the feeling of something rough touching my leg. I reach down to see what it is and find the lining of Nathan's ABU cap all crinkled up and tucked under the sheets. I toss it over onto his nightstand, and shake my head thinking, "What in the world has he been up to?"

My husband, Nathan, is the most predictable man I've ever met. I love that about him. No surprises... except for in the middle of the night. I never know what's going to happen at 2:00am. I have to be ready for anything. And each morning I wake up and ask him for an explanation of whatever crazy thing happened during that night. He always just chuckles and says, "Haha...I have no idea."

People always ask these days how much sleep I am getting with a 3 month old baby in the house. The real question is, how much sleep am I getting with a husband who does crazy things in the middle of the night? The baby isn't the problem.


This blog post was approved by Nathan before published. : )

Made for Heaven

The baby cries. I sigh. The tummy is full. The diaper, clean. There are only so many things that could be the matter now. Is he tired? No, he just woke from a long nap. Cold? I wrap him in a blanket, and rock him in my arms. Still the tears fall. 

As I console my crying little child, struggling to meet his needs, there is only one thing I can whisper in his ear. "You were made for heaven, sweet boy. This world is scary, uncomfortable, dangerous and dark. But this is not your home. You, little one, were made for heaven. Heaven is all smiles, no tears. All joy, no sorrow. Look to Jesus. He will carry you there."

And this evening, as I sit in a quiet living room, baby in bed, husband sleeping...the Father reminds this child of the same thing. "I see your tired eyes, your weary spirit. Rest. Lift your eyes to Jesus, and let your spirit fill with hope, joy. You were made for heaven, and I am carrying you there."

"For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

Revelation 7:17

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

The Great Vaccination Debate

The day after Titus was born, a kind nurse at Evans Army Hospital handed me a paper. On it was the CDC's recommended vaccination schedule for children, beginning at two months of age. I didn't think too much about it at the time, just added it to the stack of papers to bring home. But as Titus grew older and we neared his two month mark, I was forced to pull it back out. I knew that at his two month checkup little Titus would receive his first round of vaccinations per my consent. As I looked briefly through the list, a strange feeling grew inside me and questions filled my mind. For some reason, I didn't feel right about blindly giving my consent for something I knew so little about.

So, I did some research. I realized that this was a big decision, and I wanted to feel confident about my conclusion. I read articles on all sides of the issue, asked opinions from friends and family, and watched seminar videos. I investigated the prevalence, potential outcomes and treatments of the various diseases as well as the ingredients in and potential outcomes of the vaccinations.

And, most importantly, we prayed. Nathan and I prayed that God would give us wisdom and would allow us to make a confident, informed decision on this delicate issue that could very much affect the health of our son.

After all of this, Nathan and I chose to delay vaccinating Titus until we feel confidently that the risks of Titus getting these various diseases outweigh the risks of his getting the vaccines. Right now, we feel the opposite.

I write of this experience NOT to say, "We've seen the light. All vaccinations are wrong." No, no. I write to humbly acknowledge that we are choosing right now to wade against the tide. We realize that the vast majority of physicians and parents alike agree that vaccinating our children is best for their health. We completely understand that conviction. But after investigating this great debate a little further, we've found ourselves having a different conviction. We would happily discuss our decision with any who are critical of it, knowing that one of the best ways to learn from one another is through gracious, informative conversation. May we continue to learn and grow and become better parents day by day.

Happy FIRST Father's Day

What fun it was to celebrate my husband's first Father's Day on Sunday. Titus got his Daddy a sweet card that read, "I know this is only your first Father's Day...but it seems to me like you've been a great Dad my whole life!"

Titus and I had a little conversation about what makes his Daddy so great. Titus wanted to share with you just few things that he loves about his Daddy...

• He reads Scripture to me and tells me Jesus stories
• He plays the guitar and sings to me
• He goes to work every day without complaining so that he can provide for me and Mommy
• He changes my diapers
• He plays with me during bath time
• He loves Mommy and treats her so kindly
• He lets me watch golf with him on Sunday afternoons
• He doesn't get angry when I cry so much
• He shows me what is important in life
• He shows me how much my Heavenly Father loves me

"I love you, Daddy!"

I thank God for a husband who loves being a father so much. The patience and joy he displays every day encourages and inspires my heart. If my son grew to be just like him, I would be overjoyed. Titus and I are so very blessed to be led and loved by him!

The Sweetest Blessing

I sit here listening to the little breaths of my baby boy as he sleeps across the room. Could he be any more precious? No. No, he could not. He is the sweetest blessing I've ever known.

How fun it has been to get to know this little one over the past month! He has such a sweet, content personality. He LOVES being snuggled. He HATES bath time and diaper changes. He makes the cutest little expressions with wide eyes and pursed lips. His sneezes are absolutely adorable...especially the dramatic sigh after three sneezes in a row (we're hoping to get it on video one of these times). He eats so well and then sleeps even better. He is changing every day, so we're treasuring every day knowing that tomorrow will not be the same.

Mine and Nathan's lives look completely different than they did one month ago. We're doing our best to  love each other with joy and patience despite being tired all the time. We're slowly figuring out this parenting thing together, making lots of mistakes but celebrating every little victory. Most of all, we're praising God that Titus is held so securely in His hands! Titus is protected by the perfect plan of God. This frees us to simply be the best parents we can and leave the results up to Him. God gets all the glory for this little life that He created and sustains. And we are so thankful.

Titus Wesley Flack

Titus Wesley Flack

Born May 8th, 2013 at 9:28pm

6 pounds, 9 ounces

20 inches long
Looking JUST like his Daddy. : )

We are so very blessed. 

The Pregnancy Journey

Living so far from my mother and sisters during pregnancy has not been ideal. In the early months of severe "morning sickness" I would have given just about anything to have my mom cook an occasional meal for me (actually for Nathan) or just give me a sympathetic hug. As pregnancy became more pleasant in the 2nd trimester, I would have loved to be able to sit and chat with my sisters about the excitement of it all, ask their advice, and let them see my belly progression. : ) And I'd love to be with them all now as I await the arrival of our little one and want so badly to have them be some of the first to meet him.

But it wasn't in God's plan for me to be with my family during this time of life. So instead of spending time together, we've been filling the miles between us with phone calls, skype dates, and sharing pictures. I'm so thankful for their love and constant joy and excitement for us despite being so far away.

Here are a few of the pictures I've shared with my family over the past few months. Pregnancy has been a long, challenging, joyful and exciting journey that will (hopefully) soon come to an end as we meet our little miracle.

8 Weeks

28 Weeks

18 Weeks

Belly comparison at 34 Weeks

38 Weeks

Titus' things all ready to take to the hospital!

The Springtime Promise

I sit in the stillness of the early morning, in the comfort of my living room, drinking in the beauty of the snow-capped mountains which appear to be just outside my window. Winter is fading...slowly...and every day we see a bit more the promise of Spring. 

The sun is coming over the Eastern horizon now, illuminating the mountains in the West. The new light exposes their unfathomable depth and detail. Creation truly does sing the joy of the Father.

How my heart wants Winter to be replaced by a permanent Spring. How I want the Son to come today, lighting up the darkness and replacing this cold world with warmth and joy. I want Him to expose the beauty of the Earth as we have never seen before. I want to see The Promise fulfilled. I want to see the Kingdom come. I want to see Jesus. 

"Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; let the sea roar, and all that fills it; let the field exult, and everything in it! Then shall all the trees of the forest sing for joy before the Lord, for he comes, for he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness, and the peoples in his faithfulness."

Psalm 96:11-13

The Winds of Change

Life is full of changes. The winds of change blow soft and subtle some moments and then howl and swirl the next. 

Pregnancy is one of those howling and swirling moments of change. I wake up every day looking and feeling different than the day before. My belly's grown bigger, my hair thicker, the contractions stronger, the bladder smaller, and the emotions feebler. I have new decisions to make, new priorities to align, a new role to fulfill, a new person for whom I'm responsible. Life is in the process of changing drastically for me. Some changes have already come, and others will come now at any moment. Each of these changes, though difficult, are sweet sweet blessings coming as a result of God's beautiful gift to me and Nathan. 

Though I am so thankful for our coming child and each of the changes that come along with him, this season of change plants the seed of fear in my soul. With all the physical changes comes the fearful question, "Am I still beautiful?" With the entrance into motherhood comes the fearful question, "Will I know what to do?" With the many new decisions to make comes the fearful question, "Will I make the right choice?" And on and on...

With a fearful soul I am always tempted to run to my husband, seeking affirmation and confidence in his love and steadfastness. But I know in my mind (so much more than in my heart) that Nathan has such limited resources to offer me - he is only a man. I know that peaceful rest will only come when I run to my God, seeking that affirmation and confidence in His perfect love and faithfulness toward me. I was reminded in Hebrews 4 this morning that I can confidently draw near to the throne of grace receiving mercy and finding grace in my time of need. How beautiful, how satisfying to know that God is sovereign over every change coming my way and so graciously provides His Word so I can face every change without fear. How I treasure the Scriptures and their Author today. 

Reader, surely you face some fear of change and uncertainty even now. Might I encourage you to draw nearer to the throne of grace and read deeper into the Word of truth? May you find rest for your soul there. 

"Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Hebrews 4:14-16

Our Little Nursery

Over the past few weeks, Nathan and I have been working to get the nursery ready for baby Titus' arrival. Today, I feel like it's as close as possible to being complete without our little boy himself asleep in the crib. The following is a "photo tour" through the nursery for all who are interested.

From the door...

 From the closet...

While I was in Ohio, my mom (and I) made the crib bumper & skirt. I was so thankful for all my mother's work on it and so happy with how it turned out!

My parents gave us this little rocker which has been in the family for who knows how long! I crocheted the blanket draped over the back. As my sister-in-law, Karin, put it...I love to just sit in this rocker and enjoy the serenity of it all. We are so blessed.

 I just love his little bath towel & robe. Aren't they the cutest?

Nathan spray painted this bird cage for me! The nest is what our rings were carried in at our wedding, and I crocheted the birds to put inside.

 Nathan was a huge, very patient help with this picture frame letter project! I'm love him so much.

Nathan spray painted the frames (purchased at Goodwill) as well as the letters. I covered the glass with leftover fabric we used for the bedding and stuck a square of burlap & the letters inside.

 Just a closer up picture of the bedding for my mom. : )

There you have it! The nursery has been a fun project for me and Nathan to do together. : ) We're getting anxious now to meet our little one! Just a few more weeks!

Stepping in Strength

It has been a very busy month for me and Nathan, hence the long lapse in blog writing! The beginning of the month was spent in Ohio on a wonderful visit to my parents' house. All of my siblings were there together (along with three of my aunts from across the country), so it was quite the party! My sister, Elisabeth (who is also pregnant), and I had a lovely double baby shower. What fun memories were made!

As soon as my plane landed back in Denver, Nathan whisked me away to the mountains for a little getaway that he had planned as part of a Valentine's Day surprise. We spent a couple days relaxing in beautiful Estes Park, Colorado and even took a quick drive through Rocky Mountain National Park. Here are a few of our favorite pictures:

Since returning home, I've been trying to get settled back in to "normalcy." Word around here is that someone's having a baby soon, so we've been very busy making sure we're all ready for a little one to arrive, as well! It seems as though there are endless things to think through, purchase, and prepare for... so please forgive me if blog posts are a little sparse over the the next few months. : ) I'll do my best!

For now, we're relying on God's strength and wisdom to help us know how best to prepare (but not over-prepare) to have a child soon. God was faithful to remind me the other morning that He will give me sufficient strength to take just one step at a time. So, when the days seem overwhelming and wearisome, I walk step by step in the strength of my Savior and rest knowing all will be well.

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40: 28-31

Interview with Rosaria Butterfield

Because life is short and time is valuable, I typically shy away from sharing or recommending youtube videos. Nine times out of ten there is a much better way that someone could and should be using those minutes than watching a video I think is nice.

However, today I share a video with you confidently, knowing that there is not likely any better way you could spend your minutes than watching it and learning from it. This video is an interview that took place on January 11, 2013 with Rosaria Butterfield at Patrick Henry College. Rosaria is a former tenured professor at Syracuse University who described herself as a "leftist lesbian who despised Christians" in an article entitled, "My Train Wreck Conversion," in Christianity Today. In this interview, she tells the story of how God transformed her life and gives incredible insight into how Christians can best have a lasting, loving, powerful impact in the LGBT community.

Colorado-esque Adventures

Last weekend, Nathan and I had fun taking a couple of Colorado-esque adventures! On Saturday we drove up into the mountains to Cripple Creek, CO for their Ice Sculpture Festival! And on Monday we toured through the famous Cave of the Winds here in Colorado Springs with some great friends of ours. Enjoy the pictures!

The scenery was truly breathtaking!

I am very quickly falling in love with the mountains.

An Ice Slide!

Carving so meticulously with chainsaws!

Inside Cave of the Winds!

At the bottom of the cliff we're standing on is a walking trail with two people walking in the bottom left corner. That gives you a bit of perspective as to just how high up we were! I was very proud of my husband (who is not fond of heights) for taking this picture. : )

Letter to My Valentine

I thought I'd share with you my letter to my valentine today, so you can see why I love ...and respect... him so very much.

Dearest Nathan,

This day is all about love. But I hear that as much as a woman wants to feel loved, a man wants to feel respected. So for you, this day should really be all about respect.

I want you to know today that I respect you. I’ve never met a man who more sincerely loves God and wants to live righteously than you. You do a better job of leading your family in the pursuit of truth and joy in Christ than anyone I’ve ever seen. The way you live an absolutely consistent lifestyle completely amazes me. Be it at work, here in our home, with the church, in your leisure, in your relationships, in your words, or in your attitudes, you truly live excellently always for the glory of God only.  Never once have I not been able to trust you. You’ve never given me reason to doubt your love for me. You show me Christ and his grace every day. Nathan, the longer I live with you, the more I get to know you and the deeper in love with you I fall, the greater my respect for you becomes. 

I am humbled by the pleasure of being loved and lead by you.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Yours Always,

Joanna 

We Need Each Other

I'm beginning to realize what a treasure it is to have my husband come home each evening. I often look across the dinner table at Nathan, thanking God for allowing him to be here with me that day. I know the time will soon come when duty calls him away, and we have to say goodbye.

The reality of military life sets in as I meet woman after woman who has just said goodbye to her husband as he leaves for a deployment. Some are newly married. Some have just given birth to a child. Some will be left alone to give birth while their husbands are away. Whatever the circumstances surrounding each separation, the heartache is so evident. I see it firsthand now.

I am so thankful to God that all across this globe there are local bodies of believers to love and care for these families. I thank Him that though Nathan will leave someday, I will not be alone. Not only has God Himself promised to be an ever-present help to me, He has also called His children to bear one another's burdens and care for those in need. What a blessing it has been to see our church family here live out that responsibility as they walk with these military families and surround them with prayer and sacrificial love.

The family of God is a beautiful thing - a thing I'm so grateful I do not live without. We need each other. I see and understand it now more than ever.

"Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God."

1 Peter 1:22-23

The Birthday Week

Before I even entered the world, God blessed me with three lovely older sisters. By the time I came along, I think they'd already decided that our little "sisterhood" was going to be something special. They were right. All of my sisters are stunningly beautiful both inside and out and have become, without a doubt, my three closest lifelong friends. Though the four of us live in four different states now, we've still maintained such sweet relationships and treasure every second that we can all be together.

Believe it or not, all three of these dear sisters are celebrating birthdays this week! I somehow missed the memo that it was the cool thing to be born in February, so I'm the odd one out with a May birthday. Thankfully, they didn't hold it against their baby sister and would usually include me in their birthday celebrations. : ) As you can imagine, the first week of February has always been a memorable one for our family - a week that's become known as "The Birthday Week."

When I married Nathan, I was so blessed to gain three more beautiful sisters! And, wouldn't you know, one of them also has a birthday this week. Her name is Elizabeth, by the way, and she happens to have the exact same birthday as my sister, Elisabeth. 

My Six Sisters - Abbey,  Sarah, Elisabeth,  Me, Kaley, Jennifer, Elizabeth

So... Happy Birthday to four of my six amazing sisters! Each of you have blessed me beyond belief, and I am thanking God especially for you this week. 

Just Crocheted a Whale

Whenever people hear that I'm a stay-at-home wife (soon to be mommy) they typically ask with a skeptical look, "So...what do you do all day?" I usually don't find it hard to keep busy with the many tasks of maintaining a home, cooking and laundry, in addition now to Dr.'s appointments and preparations for a little one to arrive. I also find time for a few hobbies that I enjoy, one of which I just picked up a few months ago and have grown to love - crocheting!

My very first crocheting project was recently completed, so I decided to share it with you here! I made a small afghan for our sweet baby boy using a simple blanket pattern I had on hand. I found an etsy pattern for the navy blue whale applique, and decided it and the small wooden button would be the perfect finishing touches to go along with the navy blue, white and brown color scheme we're using in his little nursery.

I can't wait to find more handmade projects to make for our precious boy! It's way more fun (and cheaper) than buying things from a store, and I'm blessed to have the time and resources to do so... so why not?

P.S. When Nathan got home from work on Thursday, he asked what all I had done that day. It was too fun to reply nonchalantly, "Oh, you know, just crocheted a whale." : ) 

Scenes from a Morning Walk

Every morning when I go for a walk around the neighborhood, I am in awe of the beauty that surrounds us! It's such a wonderful way to start each day - seeing the glory of God through His creation. Each morning is a gift. Today, I decided to bring my camera along so you could experience a glimpse of what I see...

Sunrise in the East - Nathan works somewhere way out there! 

One of the many beautiful neighborhood playgrounds. We're excited to bring little Titus here!

The open airfield across the street from our home.  Many of Peterson's  planes land here! 

My beautiful walking trail!

Another gorgeous view of Pikes Peak

Another view of our neighborhood

Our house is the greenish one on the far left.

Nathan and I are still in awe that we get to live in such a beautiful place! We do not deserve such blessing. We look forward to soon using this beautiful scenery to help our little child more fully understand the magnificent glory of our God.  

"For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also ... Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord our Maker!"

Psalm 95:3-4, 6  

Getting to the Heart of Parenting

Nathan and I received a Christmas gift from my parents this year that we are realizing the value of more and more every day. Mom and Dad gave us the CD series "Getting to the Heart of Parenting," by Paul David Tripp. While driving across the country and finding a few quiet evenings here at home, we've managed to finish the series.

It might seem a little premature to some of you that we would be listening to a series on parenting. After all, our little boy has yet to even take his first breath! But every day, Nathan and I feel the weight of parenting a child bearing down on us just a little more. Yes, we understand that being parents is an unbelievable privilege, and we expect to find great joy in it. But we also are confronted with our own sinfulness each day, and we wonder how God could really trust us with one of His precious children.

In his series, "Getting to the Heart of Parenting," Paul Tripp walks through the stages of a child's life and brings exceptional biblical insight into how we as parents can most effectively raise that child to fear God and treasure Christ. Tripp has an amazing ability to speak the truth of God's word in a powerful, straightforward, applicable way. Nathan and I were soaking up his words and treasure the wisdom he shared in this series on parenting. Might I recommend it to you?