Pregnancy is one of those howling and swirling moments of change. I wake up every day looking and feeling different than the day before. My belly's grown bigger, my hair thicker, the contractions stronger, the bladder smaller, and the emotions feebler. I have new decisions to make, new priorities to align, a new role to fulfill, a new person for whom I'm responsible. Life is in the process of changing drastically for me. Some changes have already come, and others will come now at any moment. Each of these changes, though difficult, are sweet sweet blessings coming as a result of God's beautiful gift to me and Nathan.
Though I am so thankful for our coming child and each of the changes that come along with him, this season of change plants the seed of fear in my soul. With all the physical changes comes the fearful question, "Am I still beautiful?" With the entrance into motherhood comes the fearful question, "Will I know what to do?" With the many new decisions to make comes the fearful question, "Will I make the right choice?" And on and on...
With a fearful soul I am always tempted to run to my husband, seeking affirmation and confidence in his love and steadfastness. But I know in my mind (so much more than in my heart) that Nathan has such limited resources to offer me - he is only a man. I know that peaceful rest will only come when I run to my God, seeking that affirmation and confidence in His perfect love and faithfulness toward me. I was reminded in Hebrews 4 this morning that I can confidently draw near to the throne of grace receiving mercy and finding grace in my time of need. How beautiful, how satisfying to know that God is sovereign over every change coming my way and so graciously provides His Word so I can face every change without fear. How I treasure the Scriptures and their Author today.
Reader, surely you face some fear of change and uncertainty even now. Might I encourage you to draw nearer to the throne of grace and read deeper into the Word of truth? May you find rest for your soul there.
"Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
Hebrews 4:14-16
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