More than Many Sparrows

Yesterday was another long, painful day of nausea. I threw up more times than I could count, and can say with confidence that I did not retain a single ounce of food or fluid in my body. I came close to passing out multiple times, each time fearing what might happen if I did so without Nathan home. At the end of the day I was worn out, discouraged, and no doubt a few pounds lighter than when I began the day.

Days like these are dangerous for me and my baby. I'm left malnourished and severely dehydrated with absolutely nothing to offer my child. Yet, for some reason, God sees fit to walk us through such days of suffering.

Perhaps it's because He's teaching me, even this early in motherhood, that sometimes I simply will not be able to provide for the needs of my child no matter how much I want to. Only He will. And in His great mercy and love, He sees our need and will provide if only I'll trust Him.

And so today I'm left surrendering this precious life completely to Him, whispering through my weary tears, "Don't be afraid, dear one; you are worth more than many sparrows. God will provide for us."

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows."

Luke 12:6-7